The Real Reason We're So Tired

It might not be what you think

After nearly 2 decades of practicing in the Northern hemisphere, I can’t ignore that every December I see the same thing- healthy, vital people that have worked so hard and healed so much, relapsing, falling into old stress patterns, complaining of fatigue & exhaustion. I see flares of anxiety and chronic symptoms that have been dormant for some time. I see depression and overwhelm take over my private practice. My clients feel disempowered & discouraged- like their work is no longer working. This is what happens every December. If you can relate, this piece is my love letter to you, and I invite you to leave a comment or a question below so I can leave a supportive response.

But here is what I want you to know …

If you are feeling unusually exhausted, overwhelmed or unproductive right now, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you.

It may be because you are one of the few who are actually listening to the symphony that you are a part of.

As Krishna Murti so perfectly said

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

We live in a culture that insists on resisting the currents of nature. And the harder we all fight to swim upstream, the more we exhaust ourselves. We resist to the point of pain and once we’re suffering enough, we call it a disease. But this form of disease cannot be reduced to a diagnosis. This kind of dis-ease cannot be confined to a clinical exam room. This is the dis-ease that results from resisting the flow of the macrocosm- the seasons and cycles of natural world. And this is what happens in the northern hemisphere in December.

As we approach winter solstice, night swallows day, darkness penetrates light, and the chill of the mystery sets in. The wisdom of the north is eager to teach us, but requires that we get quiet, put up boundaries and give her our attention. If we followed nature’s lead, in December we would be resting, slowing down, conserving our energy and nourishing our adrenals. We would be sleeping more and dreaming a lot- excavating the unconscious by the dim light of the moon.

Winter is the contraction that fuels the expansion. Any woman who has been in labor knows the power of the contraction- it is the source of new life- a force so big it turns one into two. This is not an opportunity we want to miss. But the contraction is not easy. It’s lonely and painful. It is a time for hibernation, protection, going inward & slowing our metabolism down to preserve life-force.

Winter is lit by the moon- it’s the time for shadow work, for inner excavation, to navigate the deep dark waters of the unconscious. This is the time to ask why, and to sit in the silence waiting for the answer to come from within. This is NOT the time to fill our schedules with holiday parties, family obligations and end of year deadlines. This is NOT the time of year that we’re biologically designed to be OVER-eating & intoxicating ourselves to the point of missing out on the dream state! This is NOT the time of year to be traveling and opening ourselves up to the sensory assault of the outside world.

This is the time of year to be storing fat and slowing down our metabolisms- to use LESS energy. This is the time of year to put up boundaries (physically and spiritually) to protect ourselves from the pathogens and spirits of cold and flu season. This is the time of year to master the language of our dreams, to open our third eyes to the teachings of the mystery.

This is the time of year for being, with the knowing that in the being is the seed of becoming.

This is not the time of year to enroll in a mystery school advertised on instagram. It’s the time to put an eye mask on, go to sleep and enter the mystery school of your unconscious, where symbol and archetype speak louder than words. But you can’t make the most out of the contraction unless you close your eyes and go into the darkness. Sleep is the medicine of winter.

Is it possible that December fatigue is a the very thing that prepares us to receive the wisdom teachings of winter?

Is it possible that we get sick in the winter to slow ourselves down and come into alignment with nature?

Now I’m not suggesting that anyone cancel their plans, quit their jobs, decline holiday feasts or festivities to hibernate alone, but I am suggesting that we all maintain the awareness that our cultural traditions this time or year pose resistance to the rhythms of nature. And while I am suggesting that when we engage in these societal trends we’re vulnerable to fatigue, the return of old symptoms, and various expressions of dis-ease, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with that.

There is nothing wrong with resistance- no river flows without any obstacles in its path- resistance is also part of nature. But resistance is energetically costly- it’s harder work than it is to surrender to nature’s will & let her carry us with her rhythm. 

Winter is the contraction before the expansion of spring & summer so protect your energy- be thoughtful about how you use it and who you share it with. If you’re working hard to fulfill family & social obligations, maintain your productivity, meet deadlines AND you’re exhausted, don’t be so quick to pathologize yourself. Start by acknowledging that you are simply working against nature’s will. Consider how you might slow down and let her hold you in the darkness. Can you turn the volume down on the outside so you can listen to the winds of the north emerging from your unconscious? How can you set boundaries to protect yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Stay tuned for another post later this month on how to take care of yourself during the holidays- from travel hacks to supplements, boundaries and simple practices. If there’s anything specific you want to hear about, drop a comment below.

When we attempt to expand during nature’s contraction we exhaust ourselves. So create more time for rest and conservation now, knowing that this kind of work- the work of resting- will fuel your vitality for the entire year ahead.

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If you are enjoy the things I write about and you want to go deeper, consider joining me for a week-long intensive June 7-14 in Mallorca, Spain. Single rooms are sold out but we have a ONE private room for a couple or two friends and a few spaces remaining in shared rooms.